Trusting

"the clouds start snowing, i guess its gonna be okay" -Scott Sullivan

I don't know why I started off with that line from one of Scott Sullivan's songs. Anyway lately I have been trying to trust God more and stop trying to control my life. I really don't know what this means. Yeah I know what trust is, but... Let me back up a little bit. When I use to hear people say they need to trust God more, I thought it was silly. Honestly that's what I thought. I thought its easy to trust God. If you are a Christian I thought that was basically it, God was in control and you didn't have to worry anymore.

Lately, I have felt far from God, looking back on it. I have always been praying and going to church, but I haven't been in the Word at all. Pray is how we talk to God, going to church is how we have fellowship with other Christians, but being in the Word is how we grow and learn more about God. Being in the Word is the most important thing, I think, to bring you closer to God. And by not reading the Word and being too "busy" with my life and only caring about myself I have wandered away from God. 

I feel like I mention Nicole quite a bit. I guess its because I talk to her a lot about this. I also talk to Michelle about this a lot lately. These two awesome ladies have helped me realize this. Nicole has helped me by just talking and listening and giving advice.  Michelle made the comment when we first started talking and she found out I was a Christian, you don't seem like the God type. Or something along that nature. It was kind of a shocker and an eye opener to me. Thank you Michelle and Nicole!

I try to live a life pleasing to God. I'm no where near perfect, and I mess up hundreds of thousands of times a day. But God forgives me even before I do screw up. Maybe that is one of my problems. I know God is going to forgive me so I go ahead and do somethings intentionally knowing it doesn't please God. 

Back to trusting God, doing that isn't trusting God. It's saying I want to do this because it's my life and God will forgive me anyway.  Am I that far away from God to find my way back to Him on my own? I guess I'm not alone, Michelle and Nicole have been helping me. It's up to me now I think to make the choice to truly trust God or just continue with the way I have grown accustom to.  It's hard, I want to have fun, but I know I can have fun with God, He did invent it. 

Peace and Love