I think the lead singer of the band The Wombat's sang this well in their song Moving to New York, "I don't know why I want to voice this out loud, it's therapeutic somehow." I agree it helps to write things down and get it out. That way I don't have a monster eating me from the inside out. I may have waited to long to write this, but hopefully the saying holds up once again for me, better late than never.
I need help! I feel lost, confused, empty, no path, wandering, wondering, going nowhere, and scared. My closest friend lives in Michigan. I hardly get to talk to her. We may talk once a week if that for a brief little while. We text quite a bit, but seriously that's not the same as hearing that person's voice on the other end. I miss my cousin a lot. 99 days out of 100 she is someone that can make any person smile. The type of person you want to be around. I'm so thankful for her and so glad she is part of my family!
Christmas vacation officially started for me today. YAY......right? Not so much for me. I'm just glad I don't to sit in those stupid classes anymore, and don't have to study crap that annoys me to death. I'm not happy. I feel pretty lousy right now. You can call me the Grinch this year. I have no excuse not to be happy. I have a family who loves each other, I am healthy, I just got a new car, I have a good job, school is out, I have friends who want to hang out and they aren't even back from school yet, I got to snowboard on Saturday, I live in America, I am free to write this, I have been in God's Word most every night, I believe in God, I know if I die tonight I will go to Heaven, I know I'm a Christian, but I feel so empty and lost in this world.
I probably shouldn't say this on here, but I am gonna say it anyway. I said it earlier to Ashley, "All I know is I don't want to be here anymore."
4 comments:
cheer up ben. i know life can suck sometimes, but you just have to keep your head up and not let the bad stuff get you down. you know God has a plan for you and thats why he put you here. if you're feeling empty, maybe you need to start doing things for others, try volunteering at a soup kitchen or something. whenever im having a crappy week or whatever, if i do something for someone else it helps me feel better. It sounds like you might be bored and have too much time to sit around and think about what you want to be different in your life. i think this is prayer is appropriate for you: "God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other." Love you ben! Good things come to those who wait... focus on bettering yourself and changing things about yourself you don't like over break.. see you soon!
-Ash
Where do you want to be?
This has been great for me to find peace...
Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul; if you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.
Psalm 24:14
thanks for being willing to share these things, ben. I'm glad you've been in the word and in conversation to God. He knows what you're feeling and it's probably killing him that you aren't fully experiencing His joy. Keep in mind that we aren't defined by our circumstances, rather we are defined by God and the truth of the Gospel. Looking forward to seeing you later this week.
Amanda
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