All right. Let me set this up. I’m sitting in my big, green, comfy chair in the Barn. I’m wearing a new Etnies shirt and ThirtyTwo beanie I got today, and my white Under Armour shorts. My MacBook sitting on my lap with iTunes opened up my Skullcandy Skullcrushers once again plugged in with Timmy Curran’s Word of Mouth album playing through the speakers.
I just got home from work about a hour ago. It was a fun, boring day at work. The ThirtyTwo snowboard boots rep came into the shop today and gave Matt, Rich, and I a clinic on their boots. The rep’s name was Ryan. Cool dude, knew his stuff and gave us an awesome clinic.
Once work was over my brother, Brian, called and wanted me to come over for a bit. “Sure, yeah, shweet. I’ll be by in a few.” I get there and it’s the usual, “hey”, “What’s up” crap. We started talking a little bit and slowly but surely I managed to piss off my easily irritable big brother. I told him was leaving and left. Uh..imagine that.
So now I’m home, should be studying, but yeah I don’t care about anything right now. I don’t care. Sad. Right? Sure I guess. I have a lot on my mind right now. Like what in the world is going on with my life right now? I don’t know. Does anyone on earth know? Seriously, please answer my questions.
I was talking to my friend Seth’s girlfriend, Emily, for a little bit tonight. She tried to help me out and told me that the stuff that happens to us in life happen for a reason and God has a plan for us. I agree with Emily, but I told her that I’m basically struggling to hold on to it. I feel like it round 20, my eyes are swollen shut, I don’t know where I am, my head is ringing like church bells, and I am barely able to stand. And on top of all that I’m angry now. GREAT! That helps….not. All someone has to do is flick me and I’ll fall over and be done, but I know in the back of my head God is right there to catch me when I fall.
A few thoughts here. First off, do I have to fall? Can God catch me before I fall if I ask Him to help me? I think the answer to the first question is no and the second question’s answer is yes, but here is my dilemma. All these thoughts are in the complete back seat of my brain. In front of it is my earthly solution. I just need someone to grab me now before I fall and help me out of the ring and just help get me back into shape, because there are going to more fights. I don’t want to fall. I want help, but from just sitting here typing this up I am realizing how much I need to trust God and stop with all the crap I am trying to put in His place in my life.
2 comments:
I think you summed it up in the last sentence or two. You know the Truth. It is the only thing that will set you free.
Good last sentence. We are unhappy because we try to shove things of this world into the God-shaped holes in our lives. Simply knowing this is key because I don't know that we will ever learn how to stop doing this completely.
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